Japanese-American Don Wakamatsu, who speaks as much Japanese as I do Tagalog (which is to say very little), has been hired by the Seattle Mariners as team manager - making him the first Asian-American MLB team manager in history.

The Mariners’ 14th manager, Wakamatsu was bench coach for the Oakland Athletics last season. Before that he spent five years with the Texas Rangers.

 

“When I started this process, there were some key attributes we were looking for,” Mariners general manager Jack Zduriencik said in a statement. “We wanted energy, a passion and the skills to translate that passion to the players. We wanted leadership, a presence that could help us as we define the ’Mariners Way’ to win. We wanted someone that both the community and the players could embrace. We wanted someone who sees the big picture and cares about the players and wants to win. Don embodies all of those traits.” 

Hah - I am teh clever, no? ‘Weeded out’, get it?

Ahem…

Following a rash of sumo marijuana scandals, the head of the Japan Sumo Association has turned in his mawashi.

Announcing his resignation following an emergency meeting, Mr Toshimitsu said: ” I have troubled the Sumo Association and its fans so I have resigned. I must reflect deeply by myself.”

The ancient sport, which dates back 2,000 years, has long required its wrestlers to adhere to a strict moral code and lead an ascetic life of abstinence and hard training.

The drug scandal first came to light last month when a Russian wrestler known as Wakanoho was arrested for possession of marijuana, prompting the association to take the unprecedented step of expelling him.

In order to restore public faith in the troubled sport, sumo chiefs ordered random drug tests for the first time in its history among the nation’s 69 top ranking wrestlers.

Those of you actually following the Beijing Olympics probably already know about this, but I’ll bravely move forward for those who aren’t. The U.S. Olympic softball team was handed a huge Godzilla-sized plate of defeat at the hands of the Japanese - their first loss in nearly a decade. Many tears were shed. Military action against Japan is sure to follow.

Another gold was certainly within reach. Instead, they walked off Fengtai Field with their heads bowed.

The U.S. team never led and made two uncharacteristic errors in the seventh inning to help the Japanese add an important insurance run — one they didn’t even need.

When Caitlin Lowe grounded to third for the final out, Vicky Galindo, who led off the U.S. team’s seventh inning with a pinch-hit single, wrapped her hands over her helmet and cringed.

Moments later, U.S. coach Mike Candrea huddled his stunned players, many of whom couldn’t even look up. Lowe choked back tears as slugger Crystl Bustos tried to console her overwhelmed teammates.

Bustos, who homered in the fourth for the Americans’ only run, was first in line to congratulate the Japanese players. As she shook hands with the U.S. team, Japan catcher Yukiyo Mine was overcome by tears.

“You don’t want it to end this way, but it’s all we could do,” said Bustos, who attended the medal ceremony wearing sunglasses.

If you’re like me, and you’ve always wanted to go ice-skating in the nude but can’t deal with the cold, Japan has just the solution…resin skating rinks!

As always, necessity is the mother of invention. Faced with an increasing demand for ice-skating rinks, but no place to put them, Japan has invented an ‘iceless’ skating surface that requires none of the overhead or gear to maintain a traditional ice-filled rink.

Hot damn…it just occurred to me…nude hockey! I’m so there…