In other Bruce Lee related news - here’s a trailer for the upcoming Sammo Hung biopic about Bruce Lee’s mentor, Yip Man, starring Donnie Yen.

I have no words to describe this. Okay - one word.

smeg·ma /ˈsmɛgmə/ Pronunciation Key - [smeg-muh]
–noun
a thick, cheeselike, sebaceous secretion that collects beneath the foreskin or around the clitoris.

Yeah, that sums it up.

I think if you ask most people whom they regard as Japan’s greatest filmmaker, the consensus would undoubtedly be Seven Samurai director Akira Kurosawa. A recent article at the Japan times, aptly titled ‘Hayao Miyazaki - Japan’s Greatest Director’, wonders if that august title might not fit their greatest animator…oh and, um - sorry about the picture…I couldn’t resist.

Most praise his works. Haruhiko Kamijima, a novelist who authored a book about Miyazaki’s movies, said no Japanese director — including Akira Kurosawa, Yasujiro Ozu or Takeshi Kitano — has had a bigger impact on the worldwide movie industry than Miyazaki. That is partly because his movies are animated, an area in which Japanese artists shine, he said. He favors Miyazaki’s recent works, and “Ponyo” is Miyazaki’s best, he said.

Miyazaki is an excellent animator, Kamijima said. He is good at drawing. “Ponyo” was done without using computer graphics, which means Miyazaki and his staff drew all the pictures needed to produce the movie, Kamijima said.

“Miyazaki goes against the current trend by not using a computer,” he said.

Meanwhile, Kaoru Kumi, who wrote a book critical of Miyazaki’s movies, dismisses him as a mere animator and says his scripts are of low quality. Miyazaki does not begin with a script. Rather, in many cases he first comes up with a visual idea, and then thinks of a story to back up the visual, resulting in strange and arbitrarily made-up plots, Kumi said. He also complains that Studio Ghibli has not turned out a great director because Miyazaki cannot teach scriptwriting.

Manila-born director and producer Cirio Santiago died of lung cancer on Friday. Santiago directed and produced dozens of films both here and in his native Philippines. Among his efforts were T.N.T. Jackson, Bloodfist 1 and 2 (starring Don ‘The Dragon’ Wilson’) and the drive-in classic She-Devils in Chains. Not surprisingly, Quentin Tarantino counted Santiago among his many influences.

Here are a few samples of Santiago’s work:

Final Mission (1984)

Wheels of Fire (1985)

Savage (1973)

While Harry Potter creator J.K. Rowling is ensconced in some evil lair, reclining naked on piles of cash wrenched from the pockets of millions of impressionable children (or, rather, the parents of millions of impressionable children), Warner Brothers is rubbing their backsides after losing a court case to block the release of a Bollywood film bearing a suspiciously similar monicker.

Though Hari Puttar - A Comedy of Terrors sounds like a sleazy ripoff, in truth the film’s name is -allegedly - simply an odd coincidence.

The court said in its ruling Monday that people who have watched the Harry Potter movies and read the books would know the difference between that and an Indian Punjabi film called “Hari Puttar — A Comedy of Terrors. ”

The producers, Mirchi Movies, said the Puttar movie bore no resemblance to the famous boy wizard franchise. Hari is a common name in India and Hindi for God, while “puttar” is Punjabi for son.

“It’s clearly great to have won this case,” Munish Purii, Mirchi’s chief executive told The Associated Press on Tuesday. “We are hoping for a good release although the timing of the Warner case distracted us from marketing.”

Don’t get yer panties in a bunch - this has nothing to do with Stephen Spielberg’s proposed Ghost in the Shell film…but last night I was lying on the couch like a beached whale watching Neil Marshall’s Doomsday on Time Warner Pay-per-View, and it struck me how similar Rhona Mitra’s character was to our favorite cyborg spec-ops hottie, Major Kusanagi.

Mitra’s character, though she has a proper name, is referred to simply as ‘Major’ for the entirety of the film, and has nearly the exact haircut as Kusanagi, minus the purple tint. Add a minor cybernetic enhancement (a removeable right eye which she can use as a surveillance camera) and some serious military hardware - and I think you know where I’m going with this. If they go with caucasian actors for the GitS film (and let’s face it - they probably will), I think they could certainly do far worse than Ms. Mitra.

As for the film itself, it is stupendously retarded - and yet incredibly entertaining. I may actually spring for the DVD…

Our comrade AnaKhouri already gave this a mention, but since Variety has provided some meagre details, I thought I’d jump in on the fun.

YES - the setting is moving from Japan to modern-day America…which I’m rather meh about. I mean, if you were to attempt a remake and set it in ancient Japan, what would be the point of remaking it? Why not just watch the original?

That said…

Action will be moved from ancient Japan to contempo America, where a court must decide the facts about the rape of a woman and the murder of her husband.

…so my question is - how is this different from just about every crappy, grade-z courtroom drama ever made?

Aw, hellz yeah - this is the best freaking news I’ve read all week. Aint It Cool News is reporting that Stephen Chow will not only don the cheauffeur outfit previously occupied by Bruce Lee in the Green Hornet, he’s also slated to direct. Boiiiing!

I will admit to some mild disappointment that Jersey Boy Kevin Smith dropped out of the Green Hornet forever-and-a-day ago (my wife is from the Garden State and we share no small amount of affection for Mr. Smith - I suspect this is due in part to the fact that my wife says I look like a Filipino Kevin Smith - make of that what you will…).

But - all that aside, I think Chow is a perfect choice. I know there are some who will want Chow to be a little restrained in his handling of the material, but I’m hoping he brings his craziest A-game. I’m seriously jonesing for a full-on crazy-ass Shaolin Soccer Green Hornet. Probably won’t go over well in the wake of the Wachowski’s Speed Racer mess, but to hell with good taste…

David Hasslehoff has been cast in Beverly Hills Ninja 2. Really, do I need to add funny to that? It is it’s own punchline. One wonders if Hasslehoff is to be applauded for not taking himself so seriously, or looked down upon in sadness as he tries to make another month’s rent (because it’s clear to me that his America’s Got Talent gig only pays him in beer).

About midway through Sebastian Gutierrez’ entertaining vampire flick Rise: Blood Hunter, the lead bloodsucker asserts something to the effect of “Sex and murder are the only real pleasures man has left.”

But in the world writer/director Gutierrez creates, those are actually the only pleasures left to vampires, much to their cost. They can’t eat food, hold no love for their fellow creatures, are cut off from their families (due to their being, you know, dead) and must hide their true natures from unsuspecting humanity. And, of course, there’s the little matter of an irresistible craving for human blood.

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