Ah, the miracles of science. Putting humanity on the moon was small potatoes. If you want real miracles look no further. It is now possible to get your grandmother (or your wife’s grandmother, as the case may be) pregnant without fucking her. Yes, in years past if you wanted your grams to bear your offspring, a sweaty night in the sack was the only way to go about it. Now, thanks to the wonders of in-vitro fertilization, grandma-fucking is a thing of the past.

No guarantees that your circle of friends will speak to you afterwards, however. Just look at this recent example:

In a “miracle” that has stunned one of the world’s fastest-aging societies, a 61-year old Japanese woman has given birth to her own grandchild, sparking renewed calls for the entire process of surrogacy to be banned in Japan.

The unnamed woman, who is now thought to hold the record as the oldest Japanese woman ever to give birth successfully, undertook the controversial treatment at the Suwa Maternity Clinic – an institution that has already sparked fierce debate over the rights and wrongs of surrogate motherhood.

Despite the evident joy and relief of both mother and daughter, there remains a strong vein of disapproval over surrogacy in Japan: there is currently no legislation specifically outlawing the practice, but a panel convened by the government earlier in the year recommended an outright ban. It went further, demanding punishments for everyone involved in the surrogacy except the mother herself.

Gary Glitter, who was recently released from a Vietnamese prison where he did three years for diddling children, is ‘in transit’ at Bangkok airport after refusing to board a flight to London. I don’t know about you, but after spending 3 years in a Vietnamese prison, I’d gladly fly just about anywhere other than Vietnam. Maybe he should charter a flight to Washington D.C. - he could buy John McCain a beer and they could swap Vietnamese prison stories.

“The last information we have is that shortly before the flight to the UK departed he declined to board. We were last aware that he remained in transit,” a spokesman said.

British newspapers, who had reporters on the plane with Glitter as he left Vietnam, said he had collapsed in a bedroom at the Tavern, complaining of heart problems and demanding to be taken to hospital.

He had a series of confrontations with British embassy officials and Thai immigration police, who refused him entry to Thailand because of his conviction in Vietnam for child sex offences, the newspapers reported.

Authorities freed British glam rocker Gary Glitter from prison in southern Vietnam on Tuesday, sending the convicted child molester into an uncertain future after nearly three years of confinement.

BONUS VIDEO: Seriously, was anyone surprised when he was caught?