I’m telling you – when it comes to home defense, nothing stacks up to a katana. While a gun-toting homeowner is dangerous, a sword-wielding one is batshit crazy, and clearly not worth trifling with.

A would-be burglar in Baltimore discovered this recently when he fucked with the wrong Med student. Said doctor-to-be (whom I hope hasn’t yet taken his hippocratic oath) confronted the presumed intruder – the trespasser allegedly attacked the sword-wielding student, and that’s when things got all slice-y.

Doctor Cuisinart then proceeded to lop off the criminal’s hand and caused a ‘severe laceration to his upper body’, pretty much killing the guy on the spot. Authorities are apparently considering filing charges in the slaying, which leads me to believe there might be more to the story than is being reported.

As an aside, I once scared off an intruder with a katana when I lived in a below ground-level apartment while attending college. Thankfully nobody got cut to death, but there was a lot of maniacal screaming on my part and a lot of running on the burgular’s.